Friday, September 16th, 2005
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1:57 pm - MySpace
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Thursday, September 15th, 2005
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8:29 pm - Two of the pics taken on Andre's Birthday
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8:19 pm
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Okay, what the hell, no one responded to my sex night with Andre and it was awesome and stuff. Oh well. Andre says it's because I didn't write about the hot tub. Ahh... I have the pictures!!! Next entry.
* ♥ *
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(We Are The Nobodies)
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Friday, July 22nd, 2005
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7:53 am
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Last night was Andre's birthday. He went mini-golfing with his step-brother and had an awesome time with him and then the three of us went to dinner at Bugaboo Creek. It was good. Then we went back to his Dad's house and got his car and I told him where we were going cuz he had no idea. We went to a sleazy no-tell motel cuz those places are kinda dirty and so was what I had planned. So I signed for it and paid the money and we got the suite they had with a heart shaped "Love Tub". So we got there and we really liked it and he knew what was going to happen. I went into the bathroom and changed into my white shirt, pink school-girl skirt, thigh-high back seam stockings and high heels. Then I put my hair in pigtails and damn did I look cute and hot at the same time. I opened the door and he looked at me and he was speechless. All he could say was "Oh wow. Ohhhhh my God..." And kind of a nervous chuckle. Cuz he knew I meant business. I acted all cute and innocent but SO not innocent. I also brought a disposable camera which I reached into my bag and tossed onto the bed and he looked at me with bright eyes.
( Hot Graphic SEXXX Details )
It was a good night. He thanked me a million times over.
* ♥ *
current mood:  satisfied
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(We Are The Nobodies)
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Thursday, July 21st, 2005
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7:55 pm - Andre and I at Salem Willows
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4:52 pm
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Today is Andre's birthday. He's 25 today. He hates his birthday. He says he's getting old. Oh well. I'm giving me as his present. I'm gonna be all hot and stuff in a school girl outfit. I gotta give him a call and figure out what else we'e doing.
I had a dream about Jayme last night. We were back together and it was wierd. One of those dreams you wake up and you're not sure what to make of it.
My head is really fucked up. It's not a pleasant place to be. It's all self hatred and self pity and guilt for hurting people who didn't deserve it.
* ♥ *
current mood:  exhausted
current music: [Kaboom Kaboom]-[Marilyn Manson]
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(We Are The Nobodies)
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Monday, July 18th, 2005
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1:40 pm - Still fucking hate myself.
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Jayme found out about Andre and was understanably pissed. This happened awhile ago, but I'm just now writing about it. He found out from my stepdad cuz he was working with him and we (Andre and I) ran into Jayme and Rob and Jeremy at a mini golf place. So Jayme brought it up at work the next and I wasn't gonna have my stepdad lie for me, so I never told him not to say anything. I hurt Jayme real bad, I'm a bitch, and his birthday is tomorrow.
* ♥ *
current mood:  depressed
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(3 Wanna Be Somebodies | We Are The Nobodies)
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Wednesday, June 29th, 2005
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2:28 pm
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Tuesday, June 28th, 2005
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10:17 pm - I needed somewhere to hang my head... without your noose...
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I hung out with Jayme tonight. We talked. I ended up crying outside my house. No good. I hate myself so much right now. He doesn't deserve to be in pain which is why I let him go in the first place. I'm really fucked up in the head, I can't even figure it out, so why drag him through the mud too??
current mood: depressed
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(2 Wanna Be Somebodies | We Are The Nobodies)
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3:45 pm
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3:09 pm
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Alright. So- yeah. A lot of shit has been happening the past couple months. Umm, I started working at Wal-Mart on April 5th. I gotta take pictures of the people I’m gonna talk about. Umm, the first few days was interesting, because the place was run by gay men, so no cute looking girls were ever hired. So I show up, and I’m not even that great looking and the males are like, “hey now”. So I had this guy Bobby who is Loss Prevention and not supposed to talk to any associates stopping by my department and talking to me and hanging out with me during my breaks and stuff. He’s a good looking guy, my head is at his shoulders and built. And then there was Andre, in sporting goods, who (at the time of me being hired) had a girlfriend of 2 ½ years right there with Bobby talking to me all the time and flirting very heavily. He’s not so damn tall, but damn he’s cute. I love attention!! My third day I think it was, Andre came up to me while I’m on one of the front registers and asked me if I was seeing anyone, (he was checking for another sporting goods associate) and it was followed by “It’s not for me, I’m practically married.” The guy he was checking for was Arthur, and I kinda hung out with him a lot and inadvertently led him on. I feel really bad about that. But yeah, so I got the nickname of “The Wal-Mart Girl” and “The Hot Tamale of Wal-Mart”, because I talk to all the guys and am always seen with one… I dunno. The place is like high school all over again with rumors and everything. Andre recently broke up with his girlfriend and all of a sudden it was because of me and we’re dating and banging now according to everyone else, and all sorts of shit. It’s really stupid.
Unpleasant Anniversaries- April 24th- the conception of the baby with Tim that was aborted on June 14th, which was another anniversary. These dates stick in my head. I hate it. It’s not a conscious effort to remember this shit. I wish I didn’t.
Jayme and I are taking a break. I need me time. I dunno, I’m still figuring it all out in my head. But it really hurt him when I told him, and I hate myself for that.
My uncle died of lung cancer earlier this month, and so did two girls I knew, they both hung themselves. My head isn't a pleasant place to be right now.
*♥*
current mood: crappy
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(We Are The Nobodies)
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Monday, June 27th, 2005
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2:39 pm
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I don't even know where to begin. The past couple months have been a roller coaster ride... With some unpleasant anniversaries, people dying, new beginnings... When I have the time I'll fill all ya'll in. I dunno. Missed you guys!! Gotta love free internet trials!!
*♥*
current mood:  accomplished
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(We Are The Nobodies)
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Friday, April 1st, 2005
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7:28 pm
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We're going bowling tonight. After this entry, I don't know if you're gonna hear from me until I get internet at mt house. So- be patient, love you guys.
* ♥ *
current mood: bored
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(1 Wanna Be Somebodie | We Are The Nobodies)
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6:16 pm
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I've decided Bernie Mac is one scary looking mofo. Watching Mr. 3000- and Bernie mac has really scary eyes. *shudders*
* ♥ *
current mood:  scared
current music: [Personal Jesus] - [Marilyn Manson]
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(We Are The Nobodies)
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9:05 am - I wish I could sleep, But I can't lay on my back, for the knife, for every day that I've known you
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So- yeah, today I took my drug test. They told me to be at Wal-Mart 45 min. before I had to be at the place for the test so I could fill out paper work and get directions. So I show up there at 7:45. I go to the back room and talk to the guy. He has me sign a sheet, looks at my ID, hands me a paper with directions on it, and tells me to bring the paper I just signed with me to the testing place. That's all. So I showed up and the drug test place a half hour early. I go there, fill out a piece of paper, pee in a cup and I was out the door at 8:20. They definitely made it sound like a bigger deal than it was. So now I'm at Jayme's, I'm gonna jump in the shower and then crawl into bed with him.
* ♥ *
current mood:  awake
current music: [Speed of Pain] - [Marilyn Manson]
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(2 Wanna Be Somebodies | We Are The Nobodies)
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12:20 am - "I'm Ron Burgundy- Go fuck Yourself San Diego."
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Sitting at Jayme's watching Anchorman- soooooo good!
Drug test tomorrow at 8:30 am... yay.
* ♥ *
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(We Are The Nobodies)
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Thursday, March 31st, 2005
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6:30 pm - This is the new shit.
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Yet another journal and shit- GAHD I love change.
* ♥ *
current mood:  blah
current music: [Marilyn Manson]
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(We Are The Nobodies)
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